A Two Handed Spread.

A spread for when you are of two minds, when your actions don't match your thoughts, or when you are both certain and uncertain.

Mix up the cards well and good, letting the randomness of the universe in to play. When it is done, spread the cards out face down, close your eyes, and pass your hands over the array.

You will be using both hands for this spread. One of those hands is more likely to write and take the lead on things. The other sits back and supports. Decide which is which and continue.

Let your writing hand seek the knowledge that your conscious mind needs. This is the part of you that thinks it knows everything. It speaks in a small voice that it amplifies into an authority. It says that it’s in charge. Take care of this voice. It is very vulnerable and usually scared. It needs your love. Let your hand find a card that will let you protect and guide this part of you.

Pick your card and set it aside face down.

Let your silent hand seek the knowledge that you need deep down. While your conscious mind is talking, there is another part of you that is taking in the world. This part does not speak in words, but if you pay attention, you will find its soft voice reverberates in your bones and breath. This part will do what it will. Know that it loves you. Let your hand find the card that will help you earn its trust.

Pick your card and set it aside face down.

Put the rest of the deck back together, ordering the universe around you again.

Turn your two cards over at the same time.

A Spell for Darkness

9 yards of rain
5 perfect kumquats
a thimbleful of old odds and ends no one remembers the names of

Sit in darkness and feel the rain fall. Shake the memories, filling the darkness with the voices of the past. After they have settled down, eat one kumquat. When the taste just lingers on the tongue, eat the second. There are times when we must feign insanity. Eat the third kumquat. For really bad cases of darkness, eat the fourth. Otherwise, bury it with the fifth. Cover the seeds with memories and let the rain soak the ground.

Triple Expedite

[Originally posted at The Imaginary Menagerie]


There's a theory in some circles that you insure the gods will come through on a request by withholding the offering until after the goods are delivered. This is more true in Christianity and Hoodoo than general modern Paganism. Go to Italy and you may see an old woman spitting and cursing a statue of Mary. The local priest will pass this off. "Of course she curses the statue. Her daughter still is not pregnant." A friend of mine once gave a prayer to Saint Expedite, but she made the mistake of giving him the flowers and pound cake before she got the really cool job. When the job went to someone else, the local Hoodoo expert asked her, "Why would Expedite work for the job when he already has his cake?" Magical prayer can be a lot like high-school sex.


***


Last week I lost my bank card. I only lost it for an hour, but that was enough time for me to call the bank and cancel the card. I had to write checks and go without online book purchases for a week. And did you know that Whole Foods does not take checks? I only found that out after I'd unloaded my cart onto the checkout conveyor belt. I let the clerks reshelve my organic golden beets and gluten-free pasta.


Life was going to be a bit rougher for the next few days.


But then I had a brilliant idea. On Friday as I said my morning prayer to Hermes, I realized I could ask him to help. Hermes is a god of business transactions. He makes sure things move. In the divine commerce of gods and men, Hermes delivers the smoke of incense and offerings to Olympus along with praises, prayers and the list of victorious athletes and playwrights. Hermes made the jump to Christianity as Saint Expedite, the patron saint of express mail. My request for a timely arrival for my debit card seemed right up his alley.
I'm not very good at asking for help, and indeed this request seemed a little frivolous. I believe that if you have food, shelter and basic health, the gods figure you are doing just fine. Asking for my new debit card to arrive in a timely fashion so that I could return to my heightened American level of consumption seemed, well, let's just say I would understand if Hermes just rolled his eyes when he heard my prayer.


I told the King of the Rustlers that I understood my request was small, but that it was also a simple thing for a god as great as Hermes. This sounds sycophantic written out in a modern context, but in prayer it's just fact. I told the Many Twisting One that if I got my card that day, I'd pour him a libation and sing his praises at the upcoming theoxenia, a public Hellenic ritual. This second offering was given with a fair amount of dread as I'd been hoping to avoid attending this particular ritual based on past experience.

The card did not arrive.

Well, I thought, I dodged that one. I may not have my bank card, but I also don't have to go to that ritual.

By Saturday morning, however, I decided to try the prayer thing again. There were these really tasty gluten-free protein bars I wanted and the only place that carried them was an online site that charged $4.95 for processing check payments.

I made the same offering to sing the Whisperer's praises at the theoxenia and then remembered that the date of the ritual conflicted with something I really wanted to do. I was torn. If the card showed up on Saturday, rather than having dinner with friends I rarely see, I'd be stuck sitting in someone's living room eating bad potluck and trying to block out the screams of the high priest's hyperactive children.

Thinking quickly (praise Wingfooted Hermes) I amended my prayer. Scratch that earlier offer, I told the god. Instead of singing your praises at the theoxenia, I'll write a piece about you on my blog.

The private libation was still in play. That means I'll have to buy some honey and perhaps a nice Cabernet with the bank card that came in the mail later that day.
I also have to write this blog. The bad ritual would have been torture for an evening, but having to write something carries a higher price. 


It's hard for a writer when the act of writing makes the brain switch into depressed mode. I can journal everyday, but when I write something at all creative, especially something I want people to read, I have a tendency to spend the next few days hating on myself. I have to watch myself for health reasons. This high-risk writer's block is also something I want to overcome so that I can write again. Hermes held out for the more significant offer using the small thing--for him such an easy, simple bit of work--to garner the more difficult offering. More difficult, but also exactly what I needed.

So here's to you, Thrice Great Hermes, Glad-hearted and Glorious. Thank you.

Something in the Twos

In which we examine the Twos in the Tarot, learn how to give ourselves a minute, and come to a better understanding of the nature of sex.

The tension between two things has an energy you can harness to create something new. When two ideas or choices or points of view seem irreconcilable, they often create the most dynamic, and certainly unexpected, third thing: a result, a conclusion possibly, but more often a whole new thing that hasn’t been thought of, a heretofore unknown resolution, a child of the two.

This is the true nature of sexual reproduction. All the Sturm und Drang we attach to it revolves around sexual reproduction’s inherent miraculous nature. Something is born of two that could not be known before because there’s never been anything like it. We can imagine “a child” but we cannot know who a particular child will be.

But we don’t actually have to have sex in order to go through the process of bringing two disparate things into relationship and having their interactions create a new thing. Sex is just the most titillating form this process takes. Learning to see the miraculous nature of the process in the smallest moments of your life can add some spice, reassure that yes the universe is created out of love, and possibily make you a bit leery of a culture intent on turning all things sexual into a profit.

So having two things can become incredibly interesting under the right circumstances. World changing in a literal sense. When we have two different things - two different blazing wills, two different hearts desiring, two different mental constructions, two different physical needs - we have the makings for something new.

Because of the portentous nature of the situation, we will also find a pause of sorts. The Twos in the Tarot show this pause and give us imagery we can contemplate to better recognize the pause and use it to advantage. All the twos have an indecision in them. They are all a moment of pause exterior to the energy building between. The essence of Two is “between”, the energy that is between is created by the existence of two things in relationship.

If you feel so inclined and haven’t done so already, you can pull out the Twos of your favorite deck now. The descriptions below are for the Waite-Smith deck, but you’ll find many deck creators put a pause in their Twos. If you’re not seeing the pause in a particular card, see if you are seeing the turbulence that comes between the pause and the creation of the third thing.

Two of Wands

Two poles of a Tesla coil, the energy snaking and snapping between them, laddering up to Heaven like Jacob with his pants on fire. Have you ever been still on the outside and pulsing inside with desire and want? The Wands, suit of fire, represent the existence of tension between true wills.

We often hear and think of our own wills as being singular always, indomitable, and irresistible. But as with all things, there are times when the will splits, just enough to allow this cool thing to happen, this creation of the new. In the Waite-Smith Tarot, the man stands between his wills looking out to the horizon only he can see.

Two of Cups

In the two of cups, we see two hearts and the space between them. The between that two people make. The purpose of this between is always the creation of love, or the opening of a channel to allow love to flow into the world. It is the filling of a space with love to create the third.

Cups, again and still, are receptacles, receiving the element of water that takes the form of its container. So the two of cups shows us the pause as two individual hearts approach each other. Two different desires turned toward one another.

Two of Swords

Out of all the Twos, the Two of Swords is the most still The tension here is all in the mind, the eyes are closed, inward, the removal of self from the outside world can look like peace, but the tension is there, you can cut it with one of those swords held ready for just that task.

This kind of tension is hard to stay with. It often masks itself in life noise. We prefer the sounds of our everyday lives over the tension shown in this card  because the subtle tension of ideas held tautly, choices and possibilities, leaning to either side of barely perceptible is uncomfortable. So we mask the quiet in the two of swords with traffic and t.v. and people talking around us about everything else. The blindfold allows one the stillness required to sense the underlying tension, which once perception is attuned to it, is clear as a bell.

Two of Disks

The two of pentacles is the most dynamic, but even here the coins are belted together by infinity. The juggling is not a sustainable act and certainly not the end result desired. You can only have a bunch of things in the air for a while until they start crashing down.

There is a fascination created by discs so solid put in rhythmic motion. In the Two we glimpse the underlying energetic nature of matter. The tension of the two pulls, the electron from the proton, keeping the needed space between them to make matter.

Contemplation

The minor Twos in the WS show us four different ways to resolve the tension of a duality. If a Two comes up in a reading and you sense the pause in it is important, try one of the following contemplations. With all contemplations, your goal is really to not have a goal. You are allowing a pause in your thinking and giving yourself the opportunity to receive whatever message awaits you.

Wands: Take a long view. Find a place where you can see to the horizon. Let your eyes relax as you look out as far as you can. Don’t effort, just breathe.


Cups: Look someone in the eye. You may be able to find natural conversations in which you can look someone in the eye without it being weird or aggressive seeming. In our modern world, a surprising number of people find it difficult to look someone in the eye. If it’s too hard, you can simply go to a public space and look at people as they go about their business. Look with compassion. Again, don’t effort. Just breathe.


Swords: Put the blindfold on. It really makes a difference, allowing the muscles around your eyes to relax. In the darkness, breathe in focusing on the sounds around you. Breathe out, focusing on the breathe. Do this until you feel calm, then let the silence settle.


Pentacles: Fascination, focus on myriad movement, preferably movement that glitters. Light on a water surface is always good, but the light and shadow of traffic can be just as effective. Let the movement draw you in until you can feel it in your body.

[Photo: © 2008 Keir Morse]

Listening to the Elephant

So g*d (whatever that is) found perfection stultifying and busted out, falling into individuality, each piece possessing the potential godlike ability to comprehend itself. Now here we are, in this amazing universe filled with leaves and galaxies and peanut M&Ms and french kisses, and built into the whole thing is the necessity to connect with each other in order to know anything important about those amazing things.

Each of us holds a piece of the world, our very own hand on the elephant. We have our own experiences. Well, I have my experience. And I’m assuming you have yours. You, on the other hand, have your experience, and must assume I have mine. This is the real faith necessary for eternal life.

Over and over again, the things that are important in life prove to be impossible to know by a single individual. We can learn our perspective of the thing, but we can only begin know the thing itself when we start to listen to each other. The universe is made this way for a reason.

If you love that elephant and you really want to know what it is, then know that every person has their hand on it somewhere. And that person has a gift for you. Only they can tell you what that part of the elephant is like. You just have to listen.

This Wonderland Called Life

THE ABSENCE OF SOMETHING. I AM BEREFT. I AM BROKEN AND UNWILLING TO HOPE.

When we last left our bodies, they were falling. That’s what matter does. It settles. Matter is just energy slowed down to stillness. It gets stirred up by the eddies of time and space either chancing to move toward the source it can never forget, or dropping helplessly back down to the bottom. It cannot move. It can only remember.

To move we need something else. Whether it’s the breaking of carbon bonds, the flush of love, the roar of anger, or the fusion of hydrogen, to move we need more than matter. How are you different from a table? You can move yourself. There is a spark within you that allows you to move faster than chance.

And it is so tempting to want to separate that wonderful spark. In depression, the body is such a burden and source of pain. We could just loose that spark from this leaden body and be free at last.

But-you knew there’d be a catch-that spark doesn’t know the way home. Set it free of the body and it will splutter around the astral planes like a burst balloon until it slows, falls, and becomes a body bereft itself, finally remembering in that stillness just where it came from.

For this whole life thing to work, that spark has to be in a body, the body remembering the way and the spark getting the body off its ass. We can call this volatilizing the fixed and fixing the volatile. That which is determined and still, locatable in space and time, is fixed. That which is known only by its velocity is the volatile. When we bring them together we get life. Alchemy is all about the different ways to do this.

One of my favorite ways is Earth Wind & Fire.

Your Body Loves You

In modern society we have so much baffling between the parts of ourselves that think and the parts of ourselves that are head-over-heels in love with g*d (whatever that is). Our minds race mazes. We can think of something, think about what we've just thought, about how we feel about what we've just thought compared to what we would have thought when we were twelve, and then spend some time thinking about how we've just spent 10 minutes thinking about our thinking rather than doing something with our lives. We are all quite insane.

Our bodies, the physical parts with all the excesses and things exuding out, all the odors and tics, everything that drives you up the wall, everything that embarrasses you at parties or public speaking engagements or first dates, that's what is most in love with the divine (that means you.)

To really love, you must allow your body to teach you how.

What Fell?

This is one story about how the universe was born.

There is a school of thought in Qabalistic circles that the Tree of Life originally had just four sepira. It was perfect. Nothing moved. Nothing breathed. Nothing died. Nothing loved.



And that was just too unbearable. So we cracked it open, dropped the bottom out of the whole shebang and came up with the universe. All sorts of things happening now.


What was the sound of the Tree falling at the beginning of time? It was the sound of a billion billion particles of light bursting out of a singular point of possibility. Duh.

We call the stuff that fell furthest “matter” and some people believe that's all that's left of the Big Bang. These materialists can't tell you why the Big Bang happened nor anything about what happened right before, but they will think you are awfully silly if you think there's more to the universe than this far-flung stuff.

Other people believe that this far-flung stuff is eeeevil. Flesh is evil, sex is evil, eating is evil. They call the distance we've fallen a sin and work to flee towards the center by leaving all this shit behind.

But every bit of stuff, no matter where it landed, was once part of perfection. So what really fell? G*d (whatever that is.) We did this. We the people, and the animals, the plants, the minerals. Thoughts had a hand as did hunger, beauty and sorrow.

The story goes that the journey back to the perfect source is actually amazing. We can't always tell because we're too caught up in it. And it's not really a journey back because we are what we came from and by journeying we are changed. But whatever...

The stuff that fell furthest is the stuff that has the longest journey. It's the stuff that believed in the plan the most, leaped off the cliff with the greatest trust and the biggest YEEHAW! Let's get this incarnation party started! They say that's why Malkuth, the lowliest sepira, the kingdom of Earth, looks up at Kether, the Crown, and blows kisses.

That's the story, anyway.