Monday, February 10, 2014

The Spread of Darkness

The way of depression is the sinking into that which is below, where Malkuth, the realm of the physical plane becomes even more of itself. There is treasure here. Having the dark places be a part of you, means being the movement for that which is more still, the truth for that which holds its secrets close, the fire for that which has found itself fallen.

But how can we come to do that?

At the top of the Tree, above Kether, there are three bright emanations, waves of light that gain in their lightness as they move out of our ability to perceive even the hint of their existence. These are the ain, the ain soph, and the ain soph aur if you’re googling. 

They are mirrored in a darkness that lies along the farther shore, the deeper shore.

The Deal:
Pick three cards using any method you want. Lay them out as your heart desires.

The Bright Darkness
What we know but cannot see or say. What brought us to this place, the reason we are here at this time, asking this question.

The Thick Darkness
Here the body moves through dense time, resistance, apathy, forgetfulness, disconnection. There are things we would be free of if we could.

The Grace at the Bottom
Total release, where our faith lies (you might be surprised) and where we rest and remember and find ourselves whole again.

In living with depression, we have few life affirming ways to work with the still, hopeless, stagnant energies we find ourselves straddled with. And most of the advice for how to deal with depression center on getting as far away from those energies as possible. 

That would be lovely if we had the energy to get off the couch. Depression is a dampening, a forced going in that can feel like a prison. The idea of getting away sounds like too much trouble because our energies are too drained, too attenuated. 

But there is still energy to be had. There is still the possibility of movement. There is still some note of volatility that can be sensed, its intelligence listened to. Though often it speaks of sad things, and meaningless things, and loneliness, it can still be the fuel for alchemical change. 

There are processes available in deep depression. Putrefaction, the sloppy, sluggy process that turns whatever is weak and futile into jelly, needs no more energy than using a remote or checking messages on your phone. 

If you find you have some heat, perhaps a bit of anger at your lot, or an itch of dissatisfaction, or anything that makes you want to move, you might try one of the deeper fermentations. Rather than letting your resentments merely simmer, let them bubble up like yeast, bringing air and light into the depression.